Please allow me to digress from my posts about brand and design, and speak to you from the perspective of a woman in business...a woman who has an 18 month old son and three other preteens to care for in addition to the business, a house to clean, laundry to fold... you get the picture.
I have had ongoing health issues that just don't seem to be improving - extreme fatigue, low iron reserves, and issues with gluten... coupled with the consistent night pattern of a half dozen broken dreams to attend to breast feeding my son. This had to stop if I was going to recover. Ok, in theory, I wanted to stop. I knew it in my head. But, tell me, look at this face. I mean, c'mon... he's an angel.
I couldn't stop breast feeding. I was addicted. I rationalized that he was my last baby, and I was going to "milk it" for all it was worth. Excuse the blatant pun!
So, my compassionate and graceful leadership coach, Brita McLaughlin (folks, if you don't have a coaching mentor, get one), called me up last Friday and checked in on how my health was doing. I prattled off the symptoms, sharing the latest doctor appointments and blood tests, sighing into the phone, just aching for the next time I could get horizontal in my bed and close my weary eyes. And, instead of commiserating with me, she took a deep breath and - on the rare occasion she gets blunt - did a verbal bitch slap, letting me know I would be making arrangements to spend the weekend at her house and get away from breastfeeding. After I registered everything she said, it made sense. I agreed. I talked to my hubby, and he thought it was a brilliant idea. He would hold down the fort over the weekend, and get baby used to sleeping in his own bed, and I would take a boobie break at Brita's. (On a side note, ladies, my husband IS the last unicorn. I am eternally grateful for his invaluable support through this last weekend.)
I arrived and settled in to Brita's place, and Brita questioned me about my sleeping & eating habits, while handing me portions of yummy, healthy food. She helped me replace my java fix (usually 4x/day) with a steaming hot wonderful mix of fresh sliced ginger, hot water with a squirt of lemon and honey - it's now my drink of choice, and hubby loves it, too. She handed me a huge cup that says "coffee" on the side, to be used ONLY for my ginger tea. Funny thing is, Brita is rarely this forceful with me, but her kind direction has help me take personal responsibility for my health and make a MAJOR shift in my lifestyle eating & sleeping habits.
Brita also discovered and helped me see that I am treating food as a "last resort" during the workday, and I am not treating myself well by eating a proper breakfast or lunch during the day. I shove a quick breakfast into my mouth at the kitchen counter or over my Mac (a quick banana, some cereal, a piece of toast or a quick muffin and loads of coffee), and eat foods little or no protein - and way too much gluten (wheat). I often ate a roll with butter or peanut butter and more coffee for lunch, and stuffed myself at dinner. Does this sound familiar to you sole proprietors out there?
With Brita's guidance and suggestions, I have since changed over to a nice melange of vitamins, a quick egg (I whipped up a few and keep a stock of whipped eggs in a container in the fridge) and yogurt with fruit as well as fresh stuff like cherry tomatoes, baby carrots and sliced celery. I chopped up a load of veggies to have at my fingertips to snack on for power during the day. I grated cheese to use in my salads and sandwiches. I made a quick turkey salad with mayo, a bit of mustard, chopped turkey from turkey I had boiled the night before, celery, and that's going to be my lunch today. (Just a sec while I pat my mouth dry, I am salivating...) Healthy food CAN be yummy AND keep my energy up. By moving away from bread, pasta or anything with wheat and replacing it with yummy alternatives, I feel a dramatic change in my health.
On Friday at bedtime, Brita handed me a Quatchi to cuddle and get me through the night. Don't laugh. I used it. It worked. I began to realize that Adam was going to have an easier go at this than I was.
That night at bedtime, I climbed into Brita's bed at "Hotel Shangri La," as she affectionately dubbed her home. Brita had placed a few emergency breast pads on the nightstand on my side of the bed - just in case - as I went through the process of slowing down my milk production. "The factory doors are closing, girls," I told myself as I went to bed.
Ever heard of a labradoodle? I hadn't, until I met Koa, Brita's adolescent dog. Koa is a spirited dog with chocolate curls all over his coat, and completely cute and goofy. He's always ready to play, and always curious; a big sweetheart of a dog. He was at the foot of the bed like a big stuffy. A great sense of safety and comfort washed over me as I went to sleep.
I woke up around 6:30 am with a soaked shirt, and realized that I slept through the night with no baby. I reached out in the dark, and my hand shuffled around on the nightstand to find the stack of cottony breast pads. Nothing. Strange. Brita awoke and asked me what I was looking for. I told her. I still couldn't find them. I changed my shirt, and Brita flipped on the lamp to look more closely for the breast pads. "Hmm, I wonder what happened to them?" We were both perplexed. Right at the same moment, we were both turning the corner at the end of the bed where Koa slept, and we found him covered in fluffy cotton snow of varying sizes, embedded like lint in his curly chocolate ringlets. He was sleeping like a baby with one of his floppy ears turned inside-out and cotton puffs all around him. Pure puppy bliss.
"There's our answer, then." I said flatly, and crawled back into bed after scooping as much of the cotton fluff off the bed as we could. After tucking myself in, I looked over at Brita, who was bundled up in blankets, and we both burst out laughing. I cannot think of a more fitting moment to summarize the whole weekend.
She's got the right answers, and I have just enough humility to listen and learn to hear that they originate from inside of me. I would not have been able to make it through the weekend and such a big life change without her support and the help of my husband. This is a relationship in my life I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. There is such a rich honesty between us, and I can live out loud with her with candor in order to do things differently/better/richer/smarter/softer/kinder. Buddha, I mean, Brita, helps me navigate the big and small stuff by leading with my values.
As of the time of this writing, our family has been baby-boob free for four days and counting. Every time Little Man Lenk tries to dive for my chest, I sing a dorky little ditty that goes something like this: "Boobie, NO NO. Ba ba YES YES. BIG Boy!" (Not quite something I would bring into a client meeting, but it sure works for him.) My husband has been a blessing, and a truly awesome Daddy, fielding the bedtimes until our son gets the hang of the new pattern, and...
... I am finally sleeping long enough to have beautiful dreams!
Tonia Lenk is a brand specialist and owner of Ideas In Bloom, a brand design studio specializing in collaboration on projects with clients who are dedicated to excellence, committed to the community and sustainability in the environment. She is a proud mother of four, and writing her first novel in 2010. She recently took up flute, and shares her knowledge on print, web and brand design freely!
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| C'mon, this is the face of an angel! |
I couldn't stop breast feeding. I was addicted. I rationalized that he was my last baby, and I was going to "milk it" for all it was worth. Excuse the blatant pun!
I couldn't stop
breast feeding.
I was addicted.
So, my compassionate and graceful leadership coach, Brita McLaughlin (folks, if you don't have a coaching mentor, get one), called me up last Friday and checked in on how my health was doing. I prattled off the symptoms, sharing the latest doctor appointments and blood tests, sighing into the phone, just aching for the next time I could get horizontal in my bed and close my weary eyes. And, instead of commiserating with me, she took a deep breath and - on the rare occasion she gets blunt - did a verbal bitch slap, letting me know I would be making arrangements to spend the weekend at her house and get away from breastfeeding. After I registered everything she said, it made sense. I agreed. I talked to my hubby, and he thought it was a brilliant idea. He would hold down the fort over the weekend, and get baby used to sleeping in his own bed, and I would take a boobie break at Brita's. (On a side note, ladies, my husband IS the last unicorn. I am eternally grateful for his invaluable support through this last weekend.)
OK, this was going to be cool.I would be able to hang out with my femtor and friend, and have a gal's weekend to relax and make some time for her newsletters and preparing for her upcoming speaking and facilitating engagements at everyWOMAN White Rock, Funtastic Feminars, and Women & Words Writing Conference. BTW, I'm also her brand guru, so it's a truly symbiotic relationship. The timing couldn't have been better for both of us.
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| Ginger and lemon replaced my need for a warm drink like coffee. |
Brita also discovered and helped me see that I am treating food as a "last resort" during the workday, and I am not treating myself well by eating a proper breakfast or lunch during the day. I shove a quick breakfast into my mouth at the kitchen counter or over my Mac (a quick banana, some cereal, a piece of toast or a quick muffin and loads of coffee), and eat foods little or no protein - and way too much gluten (wheat). I often ate a roll with butter or peanut butter and more coffee for lunch, and stuffed myself at dinner. Does this sound familiar to you sole proprietors out there?
With Brita's guidance and suggestions, I have since changed over to a nice melange of vitamins, a quick egg (I whipped up a few and keep a stock of whipped eggs in a container in the fridge) and yogurt with fruit as well as fresh stuff like cherry tomatoes, baby carrots and sliced celery. I chopped up a load of veggies to have at my fingertips to snack on for power during the day. I grated cheese to use in my salads and sandwiches. I made a quick turkey salad with mayo, a bit of mustard, chopped turkey from turkey I had boiled the night before, celery, and that's going to be my lunch today. (Just a sec while I pat my mouth dry, I am salivating...) Healthy food CAN be yummy AND keep my energy up. By moving away from bread, pasta or anything with wheat and replacing it with yummy alternatives, I feel a dramatic change in my health.
On Saturday, I enjoyed a relaxing day at my Mac, chatting with Brita, watching the news, and letting my confused breasts lactate in tandem when they got too full. A bit painful, but I knew I could ride it out. I went out to a business meeting, and when one of my colleagues hugged me, and I felt like someone had punched me in the chest. "Your girls are nice and perky though, girl," said my dear Brita. Always looking on the bright side. Frankly, on a good day, I could feed Adam and a third world country, so this was going to be a bit of a physical struggle. I can do this, I thought.Quatchi got me through the first night.
Short term pain for long term gain.
That night at bedtime, I climbed into Brita's bed at "Hotel Shangri La," as she affectionately dubbed her home. Brita had placed a few emergency breast pads on the nightstand on my side of the bed - just in case - as I went through the process of slowing down my milk production. "The factory doors are closing, girls," I told myself as I went to bed.
I woke up around 6:30 am with a soaked shirt, and realized that I slept through the night with no baby. I reached out in the dark, and my hand shuffled around on the nightstand to find the stack of cottony breast pads. Nothing. Strange. Brita awoke and asked me what I was looking for. I told her. I still couldn't find them. I changed my shirt, and Brita flipped on the lamp to look more closely for the breast pads. "Hmm, I wonder what happened to them?" We were both perplexed. Right at the same moment, we were both turning the corner at the end of the bed where Koa slept, and we found him covered in fluffy cotton snow of varying sizes, embedded like lint in his curly chocolate ringlets. He was sleeping like a baby with one of his floppy ears turned inside-out and cotton puffs all around him. Pure puppy bliss.
"There's our answer, then." I said flatly, and crawled back into bed after scooping as much of the cotton fluff off the bed as we could. After tucking myself in, I looked over at Brita, who was bundled up in blankets, and we both burst out laughing. I cannot think of a more fitting moment to summarize the whole weekend.
Brita is my Buddha.
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| Lady Buddha by Barbara Perrine Chu |
As of the time of this writing, our family has been baby-boob free for four days and counting. Every time Little Man Lenk tries to dive for my chest, I sing a dorky little ditty that goes something like this: "Boobie, NO NO. Ba ba YES YES. BIG Boy!" (Not quite something I would bring into a client meeting, but it sure works for him.) My husband has been a blessing, and a truly awesome Daddy, fielding the bedtimes until our son gets the hang of the new pattern, and...
... I am finally sleeping long enough to have beautiful dreams!
Tonia Lenk is a brand specialist and owner of Ideas In Bloom, a brand design studio specializing in collaboration on projects with clients who are dedicated to excellence, committed to the community and sustainability in the environment. She is a proud mother of four, and writing her first novel in 2010. She recently took up flute, and shares her knowledge on print, web and brand design freely!
It really was a priceless moment to see Koa looking like he'd just weathered a snow storm.. Tonia - you are an amazingly strong woman- 4 young kids including a baby, writing a book, organizing conferences, managing a house, making your marriage a priority and running a successful busines.. phew I get tired thinking about it. You are an inspired woman my dear. Lots of love Brita
ReplyDeleteThanks, B! I could not have done it without you! T.
ReplyDeletelove this blog post - you write with emotion from your soul. I feel privileged to have read it. I remember stopping breast feeding both times and how sad I was to stop, but it was a relief to see my little toddlers get over it so quickly and look forward to story time instead.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs! Jackie
Thank you, Jackie, and I am really happy you enjoyed the blog! It's nice to see them grow into the next stage... means we are doing something right! =)
ReplyDelete